An amazing thing happened today

A LOT has been going on lately and I have not been able to keep up my blog...so I'm trying to get back into it.

Samuel and Anderson did both end up getting helmets to help correct their head shape. It's common in twins to need this treatment since they get so squished in the womb that their heads become misshapen since there's limited space....and I did deliver them full term with almost 14 pounds of baby in there! The problem? Each band costs $2000 (this is the DISCOUNTED price...they usually run 3200 or 3600...can't remember which) and is NOT covered by insurance. We found out about a week ago that Anderson will also need a second band to complete his head shape correction which totals $6000 so far out of our pocket for helmets. On top of that in the past two months we have payed for our sewer to be unclogged and a brand new water heater...neither of these are inexpensive! We are also just had our downstairs heater fixed today....it was freezing outside and we had no heat downstairs.

I drive and hour and a half each way to the babies' helmet appointments and they have them every Thursday and take up most of my day. As I had plenty of time to ponder how I was going to come up with the additional $2000 for Anderson's next helmet (that he MUST have measurements for done next week and they won't even start the process until you have paid), I found myself praying about the situation. I have pondered about 4 different ways we could make this work on top of all our other expenses (i.e. we are still paying for Audrey's surgery each month as well as the twins' delivery) While I could have been very depressed about the situation (and sometimes am) this time I wasn't. I was just THANKFUL.....thankful that I live in a place where my babies CAN have this done. The ladies at the office tell me that people come from not only different states because it is the closest place but even different countries because this technology is not available where they are at. The families just sacrifice and will live in the U.S. for the 3-6 months it take for the correction to be completed. I drive a long way, but I always hear other people in the waiting room who have come so much farther. The lady I met today in the waiting room has to drive 3 hours one way each week! I was also thankful that I have FOUR different options on how I am going to try to pay for this. Basically....I know we'll find the money somehow and I'm grateful for that. I'm also grateful that I did go full term with my babies and that this is the problem we are facing instead of the same money we could be spending on NICU time they may have had if they were born earlier as MOST sets of twins are. I'd rather be in this situation. I'm also so grateful just to have my babies. It seems so long ago, but it wasn't THAT long ago that I thought I wouldn't be able to have any children at all....EVER! So, my prayer was mainly about THANKS! Thanks for the home I live in now that comfortably houses all my children - we moved in just 2 months before they arrived. Our previous home would have never held us all. So, even though there's bills to pay on repairing things for this house...I am so grateful for this lovely home! I'm so thankful that I am a stay at home mommy and I can take them each and every week to this appt. and that I can take Audrey to the Dr. whenever I need to and not have to worry about taking time off of work and how much sick time I've already used up or vacation days. It is my JOB to take care of them and even though its hard ...... I really do love it. I LOVE being their mommy and being the one who is there for them all day long....and I'm thankful for my wonderful husband. I'm so glad I have a true partner in life. He really is my best friend. :)

Normally when I pray, my prayers are full of thanks because we're asked to do so. Even if I had a terrible day, whenever it was time to pray, I would begrudgingly pray about what I was thankful for because its what you're supposed to do. Some people find this strange because its not the way they pray (I'm shocked at how many people thought this was strange until I found out I was in the minority at a bible study not too long ago.) but I hardly ever pray for anything about myself.....ever. I can think of so many more important things than myself to pray about. Whenever I pray....I think about my niece, Lindsey, who has Tay-Sachs and then suddenly all my concerns seem trite and absolutely ridiculus to pray to the Creator of the world about! I know some people say....pray about everything....even if you lose your keys or are having a bad hair day....but my relationship with God just isn't that way.

So anyway today as I was praying in the car on my way back from the helmet appt. I was saying a prayer of thanks as I normally do....and the amazing part? I ACTUALLY felt completely and totally thankful without the feeling of "I am thankful but I really wish we didn't have this bill to pay" or "I am thankful but it'd be better if it was this way instead of that way." I didn't feel resentment or overwhelmed....just peaceful. Now THAT is of God.....to be peaceful in spite of all of this. I know I will be taken care of and so will my children. I knew that as I was thinking of the FOUR ways I have available to me to try to pay for my children's helmets.

My point is....I try to be respectful of God and pray for all the good things he has given me and not to complain or ask for things. A lot of the time though I would still be upset or frustrated about all the things that don't exactly go my way or seem so unfair in life....I just wouldn't mention them in my prayer. (I've discussed in a previous post how I'm usually a cynical person.) This time I was truly happy and just at peace and grateful for everything.....now that's amazing! :)
_______________________________

Anderson in his helmet




and Samuel in his.

Just plain awful

Awful day yesterday complete with over 14 hours of screaming (from 10:30 a.m. to 1:00 a.m. and its an awful night tonight. It's 2:45 a.m. while I'm writing this and I've managed to sleep roughly 2 hours earlier this evening only because Granseur let me while he dealt with babies. I just got done with another feeding and I am praying to God that they GO TO SLEEP!

A day in the life (movies)

Audrey eating an apple - the dog you see in the video is our dog, Heiko. He is the one that Granseur's grandmother thinks is "vicious." What do you think?

All three kids upset

"I wish I could have twins"

Audrey's now oblivious to the screaming It only stressed her out for a few days....now she just tunes it out and does her own thing. (like dancing!)

See a theme?

Daddy Duty

Daughter of an engineer

Update

So the night I posted about Samuel screaming....he continued to scream until 4:30 that morning. It was awful. He slept until their next feeding which was at 6:00 a.m. I couldn't sleep though in that time even though I was exhausted because I was so worked up about the whole thing. The night after that they had the best night since they were born. Things have continually gotten better right after the worst night ever. They are sleeping longer at night and when I feed them in the middle of the night they go right back to sleep for a while! It's great and such a relief. I'm starting to feel more human now and not just like I'm barely surviving. It's so nice not to have one of our kids be up 24 hours a day now! I hope this continues.

In other news.... Audrey had her very first day of pre-school! Well...it's actually a mom's morning out thing and it's from 9:00 a.m. to 12:00. She will be going three days a week. I decided it would be best for her to make friends her own age and learn how to share and also have fun being outside .... things I can't do at home while I'm stuck on the couch feeding babies. I don't want her just watching TV at home while I'm feeding the babies. I dropped her off for her first day this past Tuesday. I couldn't just leave Anderson and Samuel in the car, so I put them in their double stroller while I carried Audrey in. I put her down so I could open the door and she started crying. One of the nursery workers saw her crying and picked her up. She stood there holding Audrey like she was going to wait on me to sign her in and everything....so I signed her up, checked her in, etc. and by the time I turned around, she was gone! The lady had already taken her into the room and I didn't get to say "goodbye" or "mommy loves you" or anything! I think it broke my heart more than it broke hers. I looked in the classroom to see how she was doing and she was sitting calmly in one of the ladies' laps. I didn't want to upset her by going in and saying goodbye so I just snuck her diaper bag in and left. I hated that her very first day of something like that I didn't get to say anything to her....I hope she doesn't think I just dumped her off. When I came back to get her, she did seem as if she enjoyed herself. They had a packet for me to pick up too telling me what she did that day. They read books about friends and learned about friends. They went outside for a while and she really enjoyed the swing. They also colored pictures about friends. It was so cute! She only went that one day last week because she got sick that evening.

Audrey started throwing up around 5:30 that evening. It was so bad. When she would throw up, it would be like 3-4 vomits in one session and then she'd throw up 30-45 minutes later with another 3-4 vomits. She had about 8 separate times that she threw up like that. You could tell that she was so weak and whenever she'd start to throw up again she wouldn't even make a fuss like before...it was just like she knew....this is what I do...I just have to throw up. It was so sad and pathetic. I ended up having to take her to the emergency room around 8:30 because she was so dehydrated and just kept throwing up. She threw up twice more while she was there. They gave her a shot of zofran to stop the vomiting and then she was able to keep her liquids down. I was so glad that I took her. We got to come back home about 11:30 that evening....not too bad.

Two days later I got sick! Around 3:30 on Thursday I started throwing up and threw up frequently too. I got some medicine to stop the vomiting...but it didn't help. Granseur came home early to help me out with the kids. It was a good thing too because Anderson and Samuel needed to eat at 4:30 and that was exactly when I started throwing up again. However....Granseur got sick that evening around 12:45!! He threw up about once an hour until 7:00 that morning. So we had two sick parents trying to take care of our babies without getting them sick and while trying not to pass out or vomit on them! Yesterday we still felt kind of weird but were starting to feel better. Today we feel totally back to normal so we're able to enjoy some of the weekend. The babies have not gotten sick yet, either! YAY! It took us a couple of days to show symptoms though from when Audrey got sick, so I'm just praying they stay healthy.

Why are my kids so AWAKE?!

Samuel has been up since at least 6:00 p.m. and now its 2:45 a.m. and he's still awake. I don't get it. It's not like I let them sleep all day. Audrey used to be like this, too. It was not uncommon for her to scream from 9:00 p.m. to 5:00 a.m. The only time she wouldn't scream in between then was when I was feeding her which was every 2 hours at the time. Yep....and there's Samuel crying again. Ugh.

My shift usually starts at 1:00 but tonight it started at 12:45 because the kids have been fussy since around 7:00. Even when it was my turn to sleep I couldn't really sleep because I can hear the screaming so I just came downstairs at 12:45 since I knew I wouldn't get to sleep at all the next 15 minutes anyway. I don't know what's worse....being the one down here dealing with them when they're like that and then getting to sleep later on or it being my turn to sleep but hearing them screaming so not really being able to sleep for a few hours but then starting my shift at 1:00 and staying up all day.

Samuel is still screaming and I just tried feeding him again and changing his diaper so I guess I'm just gonna go hold him even though it won't matter. I am so sick of this. This is why I've never understood how parents can keep their kids in their room with them when they are babies. Don't they cry ALL NIGHT LONG and keep you up? How can you even sleep at all if they are in there with you?

It feels so wrong

So after 4 years, I am back on birth control. It feels so strange to be preventing pregnancy and almost kind of wrong! It was January of 2006 when I found out I had a problem (I went off of birth control in July of 2005) and would have difficulty getting pregnant. We tried for so long (well....it felt like a long time to me...it was only 18 months but other couples try for MUCH longer) to conceive Audrey and now here I am today with three children.

I am very pleased with how my family turned out. You always wonder where life will take you and now I'm just thrilled to watch my children grow. I do love that they're so close in age even though it is very demanding at the moment. They're going to love the same things at the same time and when we go on vacations, we'll be finding things to entertain one age group....not 3 or 4. Granseur and I are already dreaming about making a trip out to the Outer Banks next year with our family. It's our favorite vacation spot and we can't wait to go back. I'm really looking forward to family traditions too like pumpkin picking and going to the mountains to pick out a Christmas tree, etc.

Anyway, its an interesting point in my life to be in to realize that I won't be having anymore children... especially after trying so hard to have them! It consumed most of my thoughts at the time and I still consider infertility and our struggle with it to be a big part of who I am even though it does not dominate my life anymore.

Happy Birthday to Us

Granseur's birthday was yesterday. He turned 28. My birthday is today...I'm 26. Oh and Happy Anniversary to us as well. Our 4th anniversary was July 2nd. We were kinda busy with babies though as you can imagine so I didn't post about it.

Ready to run!

I had my follow up OB appt. today and everything looks good. I can go ahead and start exercising now. YAY! I feel so much better about myself when I do this. We ordered a double jogging stroller today that way Granseur and I can run together. We already have a single jogging stroller for Audrey. I looked at triple jogging stroller but they are just enormous and super expensive ($800-$1000). It's just not practical. There's a 5k I'd like to do in September....so that's my short term goal. Within the next year I want to do a half marathon and the year after that I'd love to do a marathon, but that's a while from now. I know I need to start out slow. I have a bad habit of going all out when I start an exercise routine. I messed up my knee the last time I did that. So even though I want to give it everything I've got right away in order to lose these last pounds, I know I need to build up my fitness level again slowly.

Speaking of weight....I'm already down 50 pounds! I lost those pretty quickly. Heck....almost 14 of that was baby so I guess those don't really count. But, I've been down 50 pounds since about 3 weeks ago. I gained a total of 65 pounds this time around (same as my last pregnancy) but I still had 5 more pounds to lose from Audrey to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight when I found out I was pregnant again. So I really need to lose at least 20 more pounds....but I'm aiming to lose 30. That's the weight that I think I look and feel best at.

I had to buy a dress recently for a wedding that is in a couple of weeks. Luckily I found something that doesn't look too bad, but I still hated spending money on something when I am hoping to lose more weight. And I did need the dress.... When Granseur had the ceremony to receive his PE certificate, I tried on everything I had and it all looked terrible or did not fit. I did not want to go through that again!

NO, it is NOT like having twins

For some reason everyone who has had children anywhere from 11-18 months apart from each other feels the need to tell me that it "is just like having twins." Um....no....its not. I'm sure the older child is sleeping through the night and only eating three meals a day. Additionally, if I only had one newborn, they would go to sleep at some point during the night and then I could sleep when they slept. However, one of them is ALWAYS up during the night. They are on the same feeding schedule but for some reason someone is always disgruntled about something during the night. As soon as I settle one child down, the other one will start up.

The other night Granseur heard me get into bed after calming Samuel down who had been upset for an hour and a half. Then he heard a baby screaming again. He said, "Shannon, just let him scream...he's got to be exhausted, he'll go to sleep soon." Well the problem is....it was Anderson who wanted to start. It's like they know when their brother has stopped so the other one can start. Last night and all day today were exceptionally awful. (It's still bad... even though I'm here typing at the computer, Granseur is in the living room right now with two mad babies.) Even if they do go to sleep at the same time it always seems to be when Audrey is awake and needs attention. For instance, I finally got the babies to go to sleep together this morning around 7:15, well Audrey was up at 7:20. She even slept in....I think because the boys kept her up all night.

So anyway, I think I will just have to punch the next person who says, "its just like having twins."

I am going to try to take video of our very loud house soon. I missed it today. Both babies were screaming and Audrey had a toy duck that is extremely annoying quacking songs at us at the same time.

I've put my happy face on for the most part for the past 6 weeks...I think I'm entitled to a little complaining. I LOVE my babies...but geez! Can I get five minutes to myself?! My peaceful time today was this evening when I took Audrey out to Wal-Mart to get more baby wipes. The ridiculus part?..... I bought three large cases of wipes. Each case contains 7 packages. With three children I go through about a box of wipes a day which means that those cases will only last me about three weeks.

Every day I tell myself.... "I will make it through this day."

Baby movies!

Audrey dancing

More dancing

Walking around

Audrey playing with a toy .... not quite how you're supposed to.
In this video Audrey actually says a sentence! Her very first sentence! Granseur said as an engineer he's proud that his daughter's first sentence was, "I fix it." hehe

Samuel and Anderson

My husband, the PE

The day after Anderson and Samuel were born, Granseur found out that he passed the PE (Professional Engineer) exam! It is a HUGE deal. He got his engineering degree from college, then he had to take the EI (engineering intern) exam. Before you can even apply to take the PE exam you have to work under a professional engineer for four years. He has worked so hard for this. Both the EI and PE are 8 hour exams each.

While he was studying for the PE I hardly ever saw him. He would go to work and then stay in town and go to his parents' house to study usually until midnight or 1:00 in the morning. He would only come home from work every other day for about an hour so he could eat but mainly to give Audrey a bath. Since I was VERY pregnant, I could no longer do this task myself. After her bath was over he would leave and go study until midnight or 1:00 like usual. He was also still the scout master for the boy scouts at this time so sometimes he'd be gone all weekend as well. That means that a whole week could go by and I would only see him for about three hours total. He couldn't study in our house because at the time we were living in a two bedroom 900 sq. ft. house and he couldn't get away from the noise or Audrey demanding his attention. This went on for about 4 1/2 months.

He found out he passed when his cousin, who also took the PE exam, called him and said, "congratulations!" Granseur said, "On what? The babies?" Brian, his cousin, said, "Oh, well I don't know about any babies." Right then Granseur knew what he meant because you can check if you passed or not on the internet. It takes about three months to get the results back so he had been checking for a while but it had not been posted yet. Brian checked online as well and saw that he passed and since they have the same last name, I guess saw that Granseur passed, too! I asked if he was upset by the way he found out. He said, "Heck no! I'm sitting here looking at my two new sons and knowing that I need to be able to take care of them. It was a great way to find out."

I am so proud of him. We both (but especially Granseur) made sacrifices so that he could reach this goal. There was a ceremony on Thursday evening to present certificates out to the new professional engineers. Here's a couple pictures.

Look how happy he is!

I must pump a lot!

Hmmm....

Yes, he's wonderful!

I have the most wonderful husband in the world. He is my best friend and my true partner in everything.

After a particularly rough night (Samuel screamed for 9 hours straight except for the portion of that time that he had feedings) and lots of tears on my part, Granseur surprised me with flowers and a gift certificate for a massage. He even called my OB to make sure that a massage was okay this soon after delivery.

He also knows I've been very sad about the whole breastfeeding thing and he took the time to look up stuff that might help. He just wants me to be happy and is perfectly okay with me formula feeding or trying breastfeeding longer.... whatever will make me happiest.... but I just love that he is trying so hard to support whatever I want to do. * We did end up ordering the herbs to help but its still going badly.*

I love that he's involved and such a good dad. One of the twins is ALWAYS up and unhappy. For instance, last night Samuel was upset from 1:00 a.m.to 4:00 a.m. but then went to sleep. Anderson thought then that 4:00 a.m. to 7:30 a.m. would be a great time to be fussy. Agh! Since this is the case, Granseur and I take shifts at night. I usually go to bed around 9:30 (I try to go earlier but it just never works out) and Granseur takes care of the twins until about 1:00... then that's when I take over. If I didn't have his help, I would NEVER sleep.

He even took Anderson, Samuel, and Audrey out one Saturday morning after I only slept 2.5 hours total the night before so that I could have a morning nap. How great is he?! I love him so much and feel so blessed to have him as my husband.

He also wrote me a little note on our dry erase board in the kitchen. It says, "Shannon, I love you so much and am proud to have the most hard working, loving, and beautiful wife to be the mother of my three children. Love, Your thankful husband."

I just had to brag. He's amazing!

I thought she was dead!

Since the boys have arrived Roger and Sally (my in-laws) have been gracious enough to hire help for me during the weekdays for a while. A lot of times the helper will entertain Audrey while I'm feeding babies or doing stuff inside the house. This particular day the babysitter took Audrey outside to walk around, play on the swing, go on a stroller ride, etc. I was inside the house upstairs and I thought I heard yelling. I listened closer and I did hear yelling! It sounded like someone yelling for help. I immediately RAN down the stairs and checked out the front door first. No one was there. I ran to the back and as I was running out the door I saw a large bell (the bell was here when we moved in) toppled over and Audrey's feet sticking out and NO CRYING! I also saw the babysitter trying to lift the bell up. I thought she was dead! ... especially since I didn't hear crying. In the few seconds it took me to run down there I was just picturing me not being able to lift the bell off of Audrey and preparing myself to see her mangled or her head crushed in and having to call 911.

As I got to them I saw that Audrey was NOT underneath the bell. She was just sitting on the ground right behind it. What I saw earlier was Audrey's legs sticking out and the bell is so large that even though Audrey was sitting up, the bell hid her torso from my line of vision. She was fine. I then looked at the babysitter because I thought she must have yelled for some reason....surely not everyone could be okay. I thought maybe her foot was caught or something but it wasn't. She was fine, too. I picked up Audrey off of the ground and then the babysitter let go of the bell.

I asked what happened and she said that she was letting Audrey walk around and that she rung the bell for Audrey and then Audrey wanted to do it, too. Audrey pulled on the rope and the thing toppled over! It was on a stump and I guess unstable. She apologized over and over but it was a true accident. I would have never thought that thing would topple over especially with only little hands pulling on it.

The babysitter said that she saw it start to topple over so she pushed Audrey out of the way and tried to catch the bell so it wouldn't roll any further and land or roll on Audrey. She said she didn't move Audrey out of the way because she didn't think she had time! Then she yelled for me. I thought she did perfectly! The thing is.... she's only 14 years old! I thought that was VERY smart of her to push Audrey out of the way...I mean she only had a moment to react to the situation! And I thought it was very mature of her to yell for me instead of trying to cover up what happened since everyone was okay and that she continued to try to hold the bell until I heard her and came out!

I still can't get out of my head how very close Audrey was to getting seriously injured or dying! I have never felt so scared in my entire life. Scared doesn't even fully describe what I was feeling. I don't think there's a word for it!

To give you an idea of how big and heavy this bell is, there's a picture below. Can you imagine that falling on a child?! Needless to say.... we're moving it!

All I could think about after that was how grateful I was to still have Audrey here with us and was aware of how your whole life could change in just a moment. I had to hold her extra tight that day! I love her so much.

Guilt

Something I feel a lot of lately is guilt. Breastfeeding is not going well. In the hospital, Samuel lost too much weight and we had to supplement him with formula. I am adamant about breastfeeding. It is obviously the best for your child and who wouldn't want the best for their children? Despite my determination, it still does not change that my milk supply is horrible. It is apparently due to my PCOS. I also struggled breastfeeding Audrey. I stuck with it for her but in effort to try to boost my supply I would pump for 10-15 minutes after each and every feeding. The little that I would get in those sessions I used to supplement her. One night she was very fussy at the breast so I had Granseur bottle feed her stored breast milk. That night she had 10 oz. and after pumping for 30 minutes while he did that, I only got 2 oz.! Breastfeeding Audrey only lasted about 4 months (my goal was a year) and then I pumped and made sure she had at least a bottle a day until she was 6 months old.

So right now with Samuel and Anderson I am exclusively pumping and bottle feeding them what I can of my breast milk and then supplementing them with formula. I hate it. I feel like I'm not giving them as much of an advantage as I gave Audrey and I know breastfeeding will end much sooner than it did with Audrey as well. I have tried tandem feeding but I will do it for an hour and then they both STILL want about 2 oz. of formula even after that! I have tried breastfeeding one while bottle feeding the other and that went horribly. So right now the thing that seems to work best is me pumping and then bottle feeding both at the same time. Finding time to pump is hard though, too. I pump for 20 minutes but when you include washing time of all the pieces and set up, etc.... the whole thing takes about 30 minutes. Well, I have three kids and one is ALWAYS screaming or needing me for something. It kills me when I'm pumping and Audrey comes up and wants me to read a book to her or one of the babies is crying in the middle of the night and I'm attached to the pump. So if I don't pump, my milk supply will dip even further, but if I do pump someone always seems to be neglected! I really feel torn about what to do and feel major guilt that I can't do everything!

In addition to my frustration with breastfeeding, I also feel badly about not spending as much time with Audrey. The babies take up a lot of my time and I don't have a free hand or anything while I'm feeding them or pumping. Then on the rare occasion that both babies are sleeping at the same time, Granseur will try to take Audrey for me so that I can try to get in a nap. Then I feel guilty for taking a nap because I'm missing out on more time with her! I'm going to try to take over bath time instead of Granseur doing it so I can at least have that time with her or have Granseur take over one evening feeding so I can walk Audrey around outside and play on the swing or something. The only thing that's difficult about that is she LOVES her daddy. I mean really loves him. Whenever we go somewhere and one of us has to run into a store to get something, I'm always the one who goes in because she cries and cries and cries when her daddy leaves, but if I leave, she doesn't really care. So I don't know how that's going to go. She will probably want to stay with daddy and not go out with me.

Anyway...all over I feel guilty. I feel like I'm not able to give enough to all of my children even though I'm trying my hardest....its not good enough. Every one deserves more from me(including Granseur) and I can't seem to deliver.

The boys are here!

On Tuesday, June 23rd Granseur and I left our house at 5:00 a.m. to head to the hospital for my scheduled induction. I was 38 weeks and 3 days pregnant. We got to the hospital around 6:00 a.m. While we were on our way there I was already having contractions on my own about 11 minutes apart.

We got set up in our room and by the time I got my ultrasound done, (to make sure that in fact Baby B had not turned head down) epidural, monitors, pitocin started, etc. it was about 10:30. I had the sweetest nurse! :) Her name is Suzy and we went to college together. We lived on the same hall my freshman year. I just happened to see her one day while I was getting a NST done ( I had several of those since I was pregnant with twins) and recognized her. She said that if she saw me on the schedule, she would try to be my nurse for that day and she was! She was wonderful.

After I had my epidural I felt MUCH more comfortable and was able to relax and visit with Granseur. Around 3:30 or 4:00 I noticed that my epidural wasn't working as well. I got another bolus and started to feel better again. This epidural was MUCH different than the one I had with Audrey. With Audrey I couldn't feel or move my legs at all. In fact, after she was born, the nurse handed me Audrey and I started to fall off the bed and did not have the muscle control to catch myself. Luckily Granseur caught me! This time around I was concerned the epidural wasn't working properly since I could move my legs since that's the experience I had before. They said this was fine. I still can't believe how different this birth was than Audrey's. I could actually feel pressure down there.

After I got my extra bolus, the nurse checked me and I was ready to go! All we had to do now was wait on an OR. We were doing the delivery in the OR even though I planned on a vaginal birth since Baby B was breech. The plan was to deliver Baby A who was head down and then do an external version on Baby B and deliver him head first as well. In case things didn't go as planned and I needed an emergency c-section, we would already be in the right room.

Finally it was time to be wheeled to the OR. I had been laughing and fine the whole day but at that moment I started crying on the way down the hall. My thoughts consumed me. My life was about to be forever changed. I couldn't believe my twin boys were going to be here soon and I would be a mom of three. I was VERY nervous about the delivery since I didn't know how it was going to go. I wanted my babies to be okay. *I'm crying all over again now thinking about it all.* I couldn't believe that after our struggle with infertility our family would finally be complete and I cried because I felt so blessed! How many people never overcome their infertility to start a family?! and yet here I was .... so lucky. There were many reasons for my tears and I just couldn't hold it all in anymore.

We got in the room and I was laid on the table which felt extremely narrow. I didn't want to fall off! After only a few minutes everyone was ready and it was time for me to push. I pushed once and my OB made a face of almost disbelief and said "Okay, stop!" I was worried at first but then I saw that everyone was REALLY on alert then and he started suiting up to deliver the first baby. I guess he didn't think it was going to go that fast! Ha! I may have pushed only once or twice more, I can't remember, but Baby A was out! (I'm still calling them Baby A and Baby B because at that point we still had not decided on names.) He cried and it was wonderful. He was born at 4:59 p.m. I was so happy to see him and hear him but I also knew I wasn't finished and this would be the scary part!

My doctor started to perform the external version and the feeling was so strange. I could literally feel the baby turning inside of me. He didn't get very far though and said, "Oh...Shannon...I feel feet. This baby has to come out now and breech." Then I really started to cry. I was so nervous! We were warned about entrapment and possible neurological defects. My OB didn't seem too concerned about those possibilities because I had delivered a larger baby before (Audrey was 8 pounds, 6 oz.) and she was delivered face up meaning that her head never crushed so she could come out. I had purposely picked this doctor to do my induction as well because when I had been going to the hospital all the time for my NSTs all the nurses seemed to really like this doctor and he is comfortable doing versions and delivering babies breech. Most other doctors would have ordered an automatic c-section which I did not want. I would have been fine with one if need be but didn't want that to be my only option. Anyway, I was nervous for my baby and was hoping I had not made the wrong decision regarding going this route. I had even told my Dr. that if the version couldn't be done successfully I wanted a c-section for the second baby because I was concerned about the health of my child...but apparently there was no time for that and I had to deliver this way.

Once again, the epidural this time was SO different. I could feel everything with both children being born. I could feel when the doctor pulled his arm out and I could feel his head still in there and I could feel the rest of him come out. It was very strange, but I am glad that I got to experience it. Luckily Baby B came out very quickly and safely! He was born only 3 minutes after his brother at 5:02 p.m. He scared me at first because he did not cry right away but the doctor took him after showing him to me and he started crying. I couldn't believe it was over and my boys were here and I didn't have to have a c-section. Once again.... I would have had a c-section if that's what was best for my child but I wanted to try to do it this way since I now have three kids under a year and a half old and stairs at home. If I was able, I wanted a quick recovery so I could keep up with it all.

Granseur was so wonderful during the whole thing. He encouraged me, comforted me, and held my hand. I would have been an absolute wreck without him.

Now for their names..... Baby A is Samuel Jonathan. We chose Samuel after the story of Hannah in the Bible. We chose Jonathan after Granseur's brother who passed away in 2003. Baby B is Anderson Granseur. Anderson is just a name that I like and its also a family name on my side. Granseur because its a unique name. We didn't want it to be lost in generations to come but we also didn't want a Jr. so it is his middle name.

Now for pictures! :)

Just arrived at the hospital. One of my very last pregnant pictures.

My breakfast - a popsicle. I was SO hungry and that's all I could have.

Waiting

Final hours of rest!

Contractions and heartbeats


Getting ready to go!

Samuel Jonathan born at 4:59 - 6 pounds, 14 ounces.

Anderson Granseur born at 5:02 - 6 pounds, 15 ounces.

Holding Samuel

Admiring both babies.

How did he get so good at this already?! He's comforting both babies so I can try to get some rest.

Audrey meets her new brothers


Samuel is on the left, Anderson is on the right.

Samuel

Anderson


Going home

37 and 38 week belly pics

These are some of the last pictures! I can't believe the boys will definately be here on Tuesday.

Twins - 37 weeks, 2 days Audrey - 37 weeks

Twins - 38 weeks ..... I don't have any more pregnancy pictures while I was pregnant with Audrey. Apparently I was huge, tired, and sick of doing them at that point with her. I definately wanted to get this milestone on camera with the twins though since I made it this far! The average time twins come is 35 weeks and I'm 3 weeks past that! YAY!

The Plan

This won't be long because with each passing day I'm more and more uncomfortable and taking care of a 15 month old while this pregnant just absolutely exhausts me. All I want to do is NOTHING.

So... I am being induced on Tuesday morning at 6:00 a.m. if I have not gone into labor on my own before then.

36 week belly pic and other stuff

My 36 week twin belly. I don't have a picture of this week while I was pregnant with Audrey.

So on Saturday I will be 37 weeks pregnant! I can't believe I made it this far especially after our scares at around 33-34 weeks. I will be considered full term then even for a singleton. I go to my OB tomorrow so I'm anxious to see what the plan will be for these babies' arrival since they won't let me go past 38 weeks. I can't believe that in just a few days, they'll definately be here!

On another note, I have been having non-stress tests done twice every week now on top of my regular OB appointments. I had one today and everything still looks great! I go again on Monday.

Audrey also had a cardiologist appointment today. Her heart sounds normal so they think the hole has closed on its own. Her next appointment will be in a year when they will do an echocardiogram to make for absolute sure that it has closed. She's doing well! :)

Oh and for some reason strangers (lots of them) think its okay to look at my belly, gasp, and say "Oh my gosh! Are you having twins?!" Seriously?! People think this is an okay thing to say. I mean....I am having twins but that is an awfully brave question to ask a pregnant lady. Its like saying that I'm just so ENORMOUS and gargantuan. It did make me more angry though when people would ask me if I was having twins when I was only pregnant with one. Yes, I get huge....I know.

Because she's so dang cute!

She's just standing there and she manages to be so cute!

"Helping" us get out the boys' clean clothes. I knew something was up because she was playing in her room very quietly. We went to check on her and there she was pulling out all her brothers' nice clean clothes. She must have figured we needed help packing.

Taking a ride in the stroller around her new house!

He's such a good daddy.

Audrey likes being a mommy. She likes to carry around purses and she'll also load her baby in the little play stroller she has and push her around. It's so adorable!

She found my goggles one day so we decided to put them on her. She LOVED it. She didn't want to take them off!

She likes balloons just a little bit. That's her favorite part of grocery shopping.... they give her a balloon at check out.

Does it get any better?

I saw an advertisement in the paper for a local first annual strawberry festival and thought it'd be fun to go. This was the main sign for the event. It's so pitiful looking. :(

And here's the place where you can get strawberries..... except.....um.... there aren't any! I think they had some cucumbers left. It was so funny though because there's supposed to be this STRAWBERRY festival.... and this is the only stand and there's no strawberries left. It wasn't even close to being over yet either. Oh, and this stand was also at the very end of town with no other signs pointing to this supposed main attraction.

They did have free strawberry ice cream for the kids though and Audrey loved it. Other than that.... there were some antique and craft shops open but that was it. That was the festival. It was funny though and Granseur and I had a good time laughing about it and just spending the day together. Apparently is was exhausting to Audrey though!

Belly Pics weeks 30-35

Once again, I know I've not been very good at updating the blog lately but I finally have some time so here are my updated belly pics!

Twins- 30 weeks, Audrey - 29 weeks & 5 days

Okay, so I know I promised no bare belly shots but this just has to be in there. When I was in the running to be Miss Mom-to-Be through the radio station contest, we had to submit a decorated belly picture and this is what I sent in. So this will count as my 31 week belly pic. Granseur painted my belly, and I think he did a great job! Get it? Two peas in a pod! hehe. :)

Twins - 30 weeks & 5 days, Audrey - 31 weeks

Twins - 32 weeks &1 day, Audrey - 33 weeks

For this twin belly pic, I had just come home that evening from the hospital. I was having contractions and I ended up getting a shot to stop them. I figured I better take a picture then because I didn't know when my next chance would be if I had one! Just a couple days later I ended up going to the hospital again and they gave me another shot to stop contractions. I've made it over a whole week since then! Oh and there's no 34 week picture of me pregnant with Audrey here either because apparently I got tired of taking pictures every week while I was pregnant with her. That's funny now because if I thought I was tired and big and miserable then..... Wow! What I didn't know was in my future!

Twins - 33 weeks & 5 days

Twins - 34 weeks & 6 days, Audrey - 35 weeks

So that's it for now. The average time twins come is 35 weeks and I've made it! Now I just try to make it day by day so they get bigger and more healthy in there. They will be here at least by June 20th because the doctors won't let me go past 38 weeks. So in LESS than 3 weeks.... they will be here. It's gone by so fast!

Oh, and I also had another growth scan on Thursday and Twin A is weighing in at 5 pounds, 3 ounces and Twin B is weighing in at 5 pounds, 15 ounces! So there's over 11 pounds of baby in there. It is kind of funny though because even though Audrey was born weighing 8 pounds, 6 ounces, I weighed 3 more pounds then than I do now with more baby in there.